Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Midwife Appoinment: 39 Weeks

I had my week 39 midwife appointment yesterday, and it’s safe to say it scared the life out of me. It was the most beneficial appointment I have ever had, because for once it lasted more than 5 minutes and we got a lot of things done, but at the same time it has given me a lot to think about. I wish she had been my midwife a lot earlier on, as I might have got a lot more support!
Firstly, I am now officially a beached whale, and it is SO hard to try and do simple things, such as get off a chair, get in or out of bed and even bend over the sink to clean my teeth. I have had enough of being pregnant now, as I feel like I’m going to break anything I sit on and I just want to be able to roll around in my bed pain-free!

I asked her if there was any way a sweep could be done (even though I’m not yet 40 weeks) and she said that if I tell her I have had tightenings (and then she winked) then she can.  Before she did the sweep, we looked at my birth plan and she noticed that I have a blood disorder. She worked out that nothing had been investigated into this like it should have been months ago- GREAT.
The rest of the birth plan went well, and she clarified some of the things that were said in the antenatal classes about what equipment was really at the hospital. Best example was the midwife at the classes said we could ask for heat packs for the labour, but this midwife explained that someone had walked off with the microwave on the ward so this wouldn’t be able to happen!
She agreed that gas and air and the birth pool would be great to try, and was happy that I wouldn’t rule an epidural out. She also agreed in my choice not to use pethidine, and she was positive when I said I wanted to eat my placenta. She said it can really help combat any depression and is putting my own nutrients back into my body.
She told me to make sure I keep pressing my buzzer in hospital and don’t let them discharge me until I am confident in breastfeeding, after I told her that my sister got no support in this before she left the hospital. She explained that if they are really busy and need my bed, that I should request they get a breastfeeding volunteer to visit me at home or a midwife, as I should feel confident in how to do it before I go home in an ideal world.
She felt my tummy and said that she thinks he is already about 9 and a half pounds, so could be a ten pounder- that’s even more than I was predicted! Thankfully he is no longer back to back and he is still 3/5 engaged (aiming for 1/5). She said that due to his size, there is a risk that his shoulders will get stuck when trying to pass my pelvic bone, so she talked about ventousse, forceps and c-sections.
Then she did the actual sweep, which was not a nice feeling at all! After doing it, she said that his head is still a bit high up, and advised me that if my waters break in the next few days, because there is a gap between his head and where he should be sitting, there is a risk my cord will drop out. If I see the cord, I’m to get on the floor and stick my bum in the air and then dial 999 immediately. She said she wasn’t sure whether to tell me this as she didn’t want me to worry, but at the same time, I need to know what to do if that happens in order to help the baby continue to get oxygen. ARGHHHHH! It made me feel bad for asking for a sweep, because I shouldn’t be trying to play God, and maybe his head is that high because he is not supposed to come out yet.
However my other fear is that the longer he is in there, the bigger he will get, which means he is more likely to rip me to shreds, get stuck or have to be delivered by c-section; none of this I want!
The Bloke was at the appointment, and he said that he didn’t like seeing me in pain during the sweep and at one point he wanted to get the midwife off me as he didn’t want me being hurt. Sweet or what lol. My mum later asked him how on earth he is going to cope when I’m in labour having regular internals which will hurt even more. Bless him.
So after the appointment I was sore and have been losing bits of the plug/ blood ever since, but have not really had lots of tightenings or signs of labour yet. This morning I just feel very scared at the thought of trying to deliver a big baby, and gutted that I didn’t do the perenium massage to try and ease risk of tearing (it hurt way too much).
I think I need to spend a lot of time distracting myself today to try and calm down, and to repeat my favourite mantras: Everything happens for a reason, and Ce Sera Sera.

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